Bursting with sheer happiness, literally (part 2)

The below event took place about a month and a half ago, but I never posted it then because I was too lazy and just never got around to finish writing it. Even though this is part two, it actually happened first.

Sunday was the most beautiful weather we've had so far this year. The sun was shining, it was even warm, and there was only a small breeze. Spring is really going to arrive. I texted my friend, R, and asked if she was willing and able to go for a couple of kilometer walk around the lake near her house.

R and I walked and talked about everything under the sun (like always), but mostly about kids (her almost 3 year old) and our pregnancies. You see, she's 5 weeks behind me and I'm totally thrilled that I have a close friend going through this (pregnancy, maternity leave, etc.) with me. I was 'worried' that all my friends would be done having kids and my Paxlet would be the lone little one.

There was just one topic that I was a bit worried about bringing up: a baby shower. That morning in fact, before crawling out of bed I instigated a baby shower chat and cry with Mr Siili. I desperately want a baby shower, I always have. But when I think of my last cousin that had a baby and a shower, all my aunts and stepmom were there in person, my mom too. I will never get to have that. For one, my mom will not ever be able to go to another baby shower, no matter where in the world I am. Also, being half way around the world from family, there is no way we'll all be able to get together for a baby shower to welcome my Paxlet to this world. It's not about the gifts, though they are nice, it's about being with my family to celebrate a much waited for and wanted time in my life.

Since R and I talk about basically everything together, I figured I could talk to her about this topic too. I related the above to her, most of it through tears. Being the friend that R is, she stopped walking, gave me a huge hug and told me, "Heather, I remember you made a comment about wanting a baby shower years ago when we were throwing a shower for another friend. Don't worry, we're planning you a shower, just not yet as it's too early still". I couldn't help but laugh a little and cry some more.

I really do have the best of friends and family. And it really was a beautiful day and the start of spring (even if more snow came after that).

Bursting with sheer happiness, literally

My stepmom has been trying to get a hold of me the last few days, but Skype is having issues. So tonight we connected via Facebook chat. She wanted to ask me what I thought of a virtual baby shower via Skype (if it is working later this summer) and video. (So, "now", my MIL said. *grin*) I have to say, I'm so totally happy beyond words. I honestly didn't think I'd receive a baby shower from my US family and close family friends. In fact, I had a tearful discussion about this exact topic with a close friend of mine a month or so ago (that blog post is half finished). We just discussed the possibilities of how the logistics of it would work (items posted well in advance, etc), things I would need (I have no idea), things I would want (I don't have much of an idea about that either, but I thought of a few things), the colors I prefer (NO pink) and so on. And just sitting here having this conversation and typing all of this stuff up got me crying! Mr Siili asked me what was wrong and I told him nothing was wrong, these were tears of happiness. He thought that was a good thing. I agree.

I'm feeling quite lucky to have the family I do!

23 weeks

I had a weird but fun dream last night. I dreamt that I was hanging out with Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers!! (Yummy, yummy, yummy!) He was at my house (although I don't think it was the place we live in now) and he was hanging out and having a great time with me and me with him. Then after that we went to their concert, where I had front and center seats/spot. Definitely an amazing dream and one that I wouldn't mind coming true. Haha.

I only just now realized this evening that this dream probably came about  because I am heading to a friend's house, we'll call him 'Divine,' tomorrow after work and he has my RHCP ticket for the concert this summer (when I am just 3 weeks away from my due date).

Divine is the name of my friend's online character when I first met him all those years ago in the game we and Mr Siili played. Along with Mr Siili, this guy is one of the people I've known the longest (and kept in touch with) since I first visited Finland. I can't wait to catch up with Divine and his wife tomorrow, as it has literally been ages since we've last met.

Total Weight Loss/Gain: I'm up a total of 6kg this week. I'm so happy it is showing mostly only in my tummy and boobs.

Maternity Clothes: I love my black maternity stretch pants! I wish I could find them in different colors and used. I'm figuring out which pants I can still wear and which ones need to be put away for a while. Thankfully some still fit, with a bit of elastic to keep the button and hole somewhat together.

Stretch marks: Nothing yet. But the light fuzzy hairs all over my tummy and in a line down the middle are still amusing to me.

Sleep: I've definitely been sleeping poorer. I still sleep, but my neck and back are definitely more sore and I just don't get as comfortable. The worst is when I am sleeping and Rusty starts whining or Mika yell/talks to the cat during the night and I wake up. Grrr.

Movement: Paxlet is moving all the time and the kicks are definitely getting stronger. I just love it! I can even feel him wiggling around while I'm walking too. It is still weird to have Paxlet moving around in me, but it is also very cool. I can't help but wanting to stop what I am doing and wait to feel the kicks. Although, the kicks I don't like are when he decides to kick downward...whoa! That is just strange feeling all the way down to my lady bits.
Today he definitely had something to say/contribute during the team meeting at work. lol

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing at the moment. Not even the pickles as much right now.

Gender: It's a boy!! Still not a single name to be had for this little one.

Symptoms: Bleeding gums and nostrils. I've had this symptom for a while, but I just hadn't thought to mention it until last night. Thankfully I don't get nose bleeds out of nowhere, but my nose is definitely much more sensitive when blowing it. And last night when I flossed my teeth, my gums just didn't want to stop bleeding. Definitely not a taste you want in your mouth as you go to bed.

Gravity is definitely working. My tummy definitely feels heavier and sometimes achy if I don't have something supportive around my stomach when standing for long periods or walking much. Such is this life though, eh?

More "pregnancy brain" stuff happened this week. I drove to my in-laws last Friday to get my winter tires changed to summer tires. My FIL is the greatest! He changed the tires for me, while I baked us a Tosca cake (A buttery sponge cake covered with a crispy layer of almond Tosca praline.) as a little thank you. I chose a pan that was too small and the gooey topping flowed over the edges and into the bottom of the oven. It made a horrible mess! I've never done something quite like that before. FIL was sweet and helped me cleaned it up after we opened the door and windows.

I also finally got a dental hygienist appointment. I could have sworn the lady on the phone said it was for the 25th (today), but no...once I got there it was found out that it was for the 2nd of the 5th month (next Wednesday). Sometimes my Finnish language skills still fail me. I could have slept an extra well-needed 30 minutes this morning! LOL

What I miss: Nothing. Still loving it all!

What I look forward to: I've sent off my papers to Kela (social services) and can't wait to get the maternity package in a few weeks. Having maternity pictures taken in a couple of months. Getting stuff packed around the house so that there is less stress the closer we get to Moving day. And more warm and sunny days!

Moods: I think I've been ok in the mood department this week. A bit sad off and on, but nothing like the previous week.

Milestones: Paxlet is the size of a papaya!
I wish papaya's were fresher and yummier here. I read somewhere that at the end of this week that if  Paxlet decides to come into this world, he'll have a much better chance at surviving (aka viability point/marker).

Sex?: You know it's been too long since the last time you had sex when your thighs are still insanely sore a few days later.

Misc: It's now 11pm and the last of my peanut butter & Reese's pieces muffins are coming out of the oven. Just in time, I'm tired and feeling a bit yucky. Funny story about these muffins this evening. I was originally going to make another Tosca cake, I even stopped at the store to get almond slices. But as I got home, I wasn't in the mood to make that, so I decided to make a coffeecake instead. As I started pulling out the ingredients, I realized I didn't have much white sugar. Sure, I had brown sugar, powder sugar, jam sugar and even rae (pearl?) sugar, but just not more than 2/3 cup of plain ol' white sugar! I started looking through my cookbook to find a recipe that only needed 2/3 cup sugar (and 1/2 cup brown sugar), which turned out to be muffins. The PB and Reese's were my 'invention'. And thankfully nothing over flowed from the pan!

This week's bump pictures can be seen in the Paxlet Pictures tab. I've also finally added week 22 pictures.

22 weeks
21 weeks
20 weeks
19 weeks
18 weeks
17 weeks
16 weeks
15 weeks
14 weeks
13 weeks
12 weeks
11 weeks
10 weeks
9 weeks
8 weeks
7 weeks

Quiet before the storm

Ok, so I don't think a storm is coming, or at least I hope not, but I just haven't been in the mood to sit at the computer in the evenings after long days at work. I do have lots of blogy-post thoughts in my head and even a few posts started, but none that have actually been finished yet. I'm working on them, slowly.

I know this week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I have been affected by IF and still am. Even though I am 23 weeks pregnant right now, I am still infertile. If Mr Siili and I want a 2nd child (although, let's not really discuss that until we get this one settled in), we'll more than likely have to go through  IVF again. Unless a miracle happens. They do happen, but I won't be waiting for it.

I am not ignoring NIAW, but I just don't have much to say about it at the moment. And in some ways, by posting about NIAW here on my blog, where I'm assuming, most if not all of the ladies reading my blog are dealing with IF in one form or another. So it it sort of feels like I'd be preaching to the crowd. In a slight different vein, I have posted a couple of things on FB; one person has 'liked' them. And I definitely don't shy away from talking about IF and how I got to where I am now. So, I definitely don't ignore infertility. As if!

A (good) storm that will be coming is the fact that Mr Siili and I will be moving in a month! We got our notification papers that our house will be ready (after an inspection or two by us and the builders) and we can get our keys on the 25th of May! OMG!! That's just one month away. It seemed not that long ago that I was telling people that we'd be moving in a year or 6 months and now it is RIGHT around the corner.

I'm terrified and excited about this. In fact, I feel more terrified about this move than I do this pregnancy, delivery and the baby itself. LOL. This house (the loan) is going to cost more than anything we've ever dealt with (yes, I know the baby will cost more in the span of our lives, but as a single lump sum, this house is a lot!). I've never lived anywhere else in Finland but where are are now (it'll be 13 years in September). And the storm part of it is I know Mr Siili will get very stressed and become quite grumpy. That's not going to go well with a 6-7 month pregnant lady's hormones. I have started getting boxes and packing already in hopes that I can get a decent portion of it done before M-Day (moving day) happens.

Today at work I finished filling in my maternity papers and got them in the mail. It got me thinking about how far along I am and where I'm going to be in a few months. My maternity leave officially starts on July 17th. But, I'm sure I'll have some extra hours worked that I'll be able to take another day or two off before that. Also, if for some reason I'm not feeling too well as the pregnancy progresses, it should be quite easy to get sick leave, although I hope there is no need for that.

This line of pregnancy thoughts also reminded me that I'd love to have some before (and after) baby pictures taken. I've loved seeing other women who've had some nice pictures to remember their very pregnancy tummies by. It just so happens that my big boss is an avid photographer. (This is the same boss I had a wonderful conversation with almost a year ago about IF and her hysterectomy.) So, I asked her today if she or someone she knows does maternity pictures. Her face lit up and she said she'd love to take some pictures for me. Big boss said she isn't so great at photographing posed portraits, but I told her she's much better than I would be. Plus, I've seen her work and I love it! She said she'd take thousands, ok maybe just hundreds of pictures that we'd get sick of her. I replied that we could do the ones with Mr Siili first and then she can shoot away at me all she wants. She mentioned indoor photos and I said that it should be decent summer weather and we could go outside too. I could just see her brain already starting to think stuff through and the quick ideas she was throwing out there. She even offered to take pictures of Paxlet once he is born too! As Big boss left for the evening, she said she'd take a bit of time to think and look around to see what sort of shots would be good to try.

I'm excited and elated at the response I got from my Big boss. The way she lit up and immediately said she'd love to take pictures was more than I had ever hoped for. I know she's very happy for me and Mr Siili in that we've finally gotten pregnant after the long journey of TTC, but her response just melts my heart.

Sometimes it's great to be sitting right in front of the Big boss's office... hehehe

22 weeks

Ugh, it's been a while since I've said anything. I have a couple of posts in the making, but I just haven't had the time, energy or full on desire to sit and write them fully out. They are a work in progress and I hope to get them posted soon.

It's my dad's birthday today. Happy Birthday, Bob!! I called him via Skype when I got home and we chatted for half an hour. I love chatting with my dad. He also shared a secret with me: my stepmom and sister are (giddily) organizing me a Skype (with video) baby shower sometime later this summer. He told me that I have to act surprised when they tell me about it.

One of the stores downtown is having their semi-annual Crazy Days sale and I got sucked in. I tried telling myself it was to let Mr Siili sleep for a couple of hours before going to basketball, but really, I did want to check it out. I was a good girl though and didn't buy much and two-thirds of what I did buy was food-related. The one thing that I didn't really need to buy, but I did were 2 binkies (pacifiers, plugs, tutti in Finnish. etc). They were just too cute with the little dragon and whale on them, plus they were only €2. (I have no idea if that is a good price or not, but it sounded good.)

Total Weight Loss/Gain: +7 to 7,5kg.
The weight's coming on! LOL. As I weighed myself at my neuvola appointment today, I commented to the nurse that if I subtracted roughly 1kg from my weight for clothes, it would roughly match what my scales at home said. (yay!) She replied that I shouldn't be dieting or losing weight and I should be eating healthy. Lots of dark green veggies, rye bread and so on. I laughed and told her no dieting here and that I am eating healthy.

Maternity Clothes: I bought another bra today! This isn't a maternity bra, but one that is just bigger.It felt so comfy when I tried it on at the store, that I'm hoping it will stay comfy when I try wearing it tomorrow (if it dries in time). I'm also loving my black stretch mama-pants. So comfy!

Stretch marks: I was just discussing this with a couple of co-workers today. The lady that is a week behind me has a very itchy tummy and she is concerned she'll get stretch marks if she scratches too much. So she is trying different lotions and what not in hopes of keeping her skin lubricated and mark-free. I on the other hand am not that itchy, but I am using my regular body lotion and not a sign of stretch marks yet.

Sleep: Definitely not sleeping as well as I used to. It's not too bad, but I could definitely use more sleep. I did sleep longer on my right side last night and my neck isn't as sore today as it has been in the past. I hope I can keep that up. But if my neck (and back) do continue to bother me, it is great to know that my chiro can treat me through my entire pregnancy.

Movement: I love feeling Paxlet move! While having this thing inside me and moving around is quite a weird thing to think about and feel, it is so much fun too. I also enjoy seeing Paxlet make my tummy move and I can't wait until they're a bit more pronounced. Especially so that Mr Siili can see them easier.

In other types of movement, I (lightly) bumped my belly on the door handle today at work. I also noticed that while I was at the Crazy Days sale and I tried so scooch out of the way, I would bump my belly. I find it amusing that my belly is getting in the way some now, so long as it doesn't hurt.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really. I haven't been eating so many pickles this week. *grin*

Gender: It's a boy!! And no names have even been thought of yet.

Symptoms: I've noticed it for a while, but only just now getting around to saying it: I've got more hair on my tummy than I've had before. Or maybe I'm just noticing it more. But really, I think my tummy has gotten hairier. It isn't big ugly hairs, although there is a stray long hair or two there, but most of the hair is just noticeable peach fuzz. I think it's cute.

What I miss: My family and friends, but really nothing pregnancy related. I honestly can't think of anything that I am not able to do or that I would want eat now that I can't.

What I look forward to: As soon as I get my KELA (social services) papers filled out and turned in, I will be getting more information about when my maternity leave officially starts (around July 18th), how much money I'll get during maternity leave, etc. In a couple of week's time, I'll will also receive the maternity package of awesome baby stuff in the mail. I can't wait to go through that and explore everything.

I've booked my appointment for the diabetes test in another 4 weeks. I've heard horror and not so bad stories. I can't wait to see what it's like.

Moods: I've been feeling a bit down and teary lately. I've been easily brought to tears, either by silly, funny stuff or by sad thoughts (especially about my mom or not having enough needed interaction with friends). I've been desperately wanting someone to talk to about this pregnancy. Nothing specific or concrete, but just to be able to talk and revel in this journey. In the beginning I had hoped I'd have my close friends to be able to chat with, they've been busy with their own lives and what not. I totally get that, but I can't help but feel sad anyway. Even getting ahold of them via phone is difficult at times. I had a breakdown over it last night and cried as I was getting into bed. I tried explaining it to Mr Siili, but I think he's too guy to fully understand.

Milestones: Paxlet is the size of a papaya!
I'm officially pregnant! Today I was given the piece of paper with the doctor's signature that proves (to the government officals, work, etc) that my pregnancy has lasted at least 154 days (and continuing...)and thus I am in deed pregnant. If I didn't get this statement, there are a whole bunch of benefits that I would miss out on.

Medical concerns: My hemoglobin was low this time around, so I'm to start taking iron supplements for a while. The neuvola nurse said it is quite normal for the iron to get low around now and then jump back up during the 3rd trimester.

Sex?: Poor Mr. Siili...

Misc: A co-worker (from a different department) came into work today with her month old little girl as I was going to lunch. A second co-worker was hold the baby and as soon as she saw me walk in, she started (jokingly, sort of) pushing the baby at me saying "here's the test for you, can you change diapers?" and looking at me expectantly like I should be all over the baby. The truth is, I've never been that ga-ga over other people's babies, especially people I don't know very well. Close friends with their babies in the past few years are a different story. They are my good friends, I have an invested interest in them. I tried telling that to my co-workers and the one holding the baby just gave me a strange look, especially knowing that I am pregnant now. I tried explaining to her that I am sure my own baby will be different. I don't think she got it though. This lady is also the same one that has been telling me that I can't drink any coffee (not that I do) and I shouldn't be drinking tea either and that I should be eating lots of broccoli and all sorts of other unsolicited 'helpful' advice. I know this is my first kid and I do appreciate all the help I can get, but I just don't need THAT much help, especially not the way she's giving it to me. (Yes, I know part of it is cultural differences, but still, ugh.)

And baby smell?! Blech! I don't think there is anything cute or yummy about the way a baby smells of spit-up and poo. Again, I hope, and I am sure, that will be different with my own kid.

This week's bump pictures have been taken and will be uploaded tomorrow. They will be seen in the Paxlet Pictures tab after that.
Edited: Pictures were only added a week later during the same time that 23 weeks images were added. Bad me!

21 weeks
20 weeks
19 weeks
18 weeks
17 weeks
16 weeks
15 weeks
14 weeks
13 weeks
12 weeks
11 weeks
10 weeks
9 weeks
8 weeks
7 weeks

If I was a...

I saw this post by Emily at The Empty Uterus today. I really liked it the idea of it, so here are my answers.

If I was a month, I’d be July.
If I was a day of the week, I’d be Saturday.
If I was a time of day, I’d be a bright sunny morning.
If I was a planet, I’d be Mars.

If I was a sea animal, I’d be an otter.
If I was a direction, I'd be 'that way'.
If I was a piece of furniture, I'd be a comfy beanbag.
If I was a liquid, I’d be hot tea.
If I was a gemstone, I’d be a jade.
If I was a tree, I’d be a mountain ash.
If I was a tool, I’d be razor blade.
If I was a flower, I’d be a hibiscus.

If I was a type of weather, I’d be a warm, sunny day.
If I was a musical instrument, I’d be a trumpet. (This was the hardest one.)
If I was a color, I’d be green.
If I was an emotion, I’d be perky.
If I was a fruit, I’d be a carambola/starfruit.
If I was a sound, I’d be water running over rocks in a stream.

If I was an element, I’d be fire.
If I was a car, I’d be an old fashioned one, like a mustang.
If I was a food I would be fun and yummy.
If I was a place, I’d be near the ocean and beach.

If I was a material, I'd be soft and comforting.
If I was a taste, I'd be distinct.
If I was a scent, I’d be vanilla.

Pregnancy brain

No, not pregnancy on the brain, but pregnancy brain! I try not to blame many things on hormones (like PMS) as much as I can, but really, sometimes things are just too coincidental and funny to not be blamed on hormones.

Last night I was so tired that I had already crawled into bed and completely forgotten about Paxlet pictures by the time Mr Siili got home. So, the pictures weren't taken until this evening and they are now ready to be viewed.

Today at work a lady started chatting with me asking me questions about a banking issue for the unit I work with. I replied to her and asked a few questions of my own. And then I remembered that during our morning coffee break we (with our entire group, but instigated by her) had talked about earthquakes, how they are measured and what is the difference between Richter and magnitude. So I quickly Googled it and started copying and pasting some of the more interesting parts of the page I found. She ignored this bit of chat and continued to ask a couple of things about her issue and then said she'd get back to me after lunch.

It was only a couple of hours later, when I realized that the person who had started chatting with me was Niina something-hill (not our team) and not Nina somethingdifferent-hill (our team). I had been rambling on about a subject to someone who had no clue what I was talking about! And she didn't even say anything. Although, to find out later, she hadn't even read those bits until I mentioned my goof up to her, as she was so focused on her issue. She said I'm not the only one who has done this. Man, I was so embarrassed, but I still told Nina from our team what I had done. I could hear her laughing across the room and she told me I had good reason to have lapses in my thinking. This isn't the first time I've done this since being pregnant, although the other time was with 2 different Heidi's.

 

I have my chiropractor appointment tomorrow at 16:30. I'm so freakin' excited! Mr Siili helped me find the chiro (from the phone book and the first one on the list) just over 13 years ago when I was visiting here for 3 months. The guy spoke great English, listens to me when I say something doesn't feel quite right after an adjustment and takes a second look and understands my owl-like (or some even say exorcist) neck. I've only ever gone to one other chiropractor here in Finland and I left there in worse pain than when I had gone in. I hope to not have to look for a new one for many years to come. 

Through pictures on the desk, I've watched my chiropractor's two boys grow from itty bitty babies to the young boy and almost teen that they are now. I'm kind of excited to be able to finally go to him and be pregnant myself. Someone who has "known" me my entire Finnish existence and he gets to see another side of me. I'm also excited to see how chiro treatments are different, if at all, now that I'm pregnant and can't really comfortably lay on my tummy.

 

But the greatest thing is, I know my neck and lower back will feel much better after the treatment. I love my chiro!

A couple of pictures that I just couldn't resist sharing to end this post.

Mansi

Rusty

21 weeks

Total Weight Loss/Gain: My weight has gone up a tiny bit this week. I'm on the plus side of 4kg, but not enough to call it a half kilo.

Maternity Clothes: I finally finished sewing a pair of my own maternity pants following this tutorial. It wasn't so hard, but I had a tired-hormonal break down last week and so I ignored the pants for a few days. I ripped out what I had sewn, re-sewed everything. When I tried the pants on, the front elastic band was a bit too high and uncomfortable. So, I ripped out the front half again, cut the pants lower and sewed it once more. I wore the pants to work on Tuesday, but the elastic is a bit tight, so I bought new elastic and will replace it soon. Yes, I know, that means I'll be ripping and sewing at least one more time. But, as I said, it wasn't so hard and now that I've gotten most of the kinks worked out, I would be willing to make another pair of maternity pants, just not today.
I also bought another pair of mat. pants today from the 2nd hand store. They are simple, yet cute and white. I haven't bought white pants in ages! I'm thinking I'll wait until the snow melts all the way before wearing them.

Stretch marks: Nothing yet and not waiting for them. Haha.

Sleep: Sleep is getting more difficult. At least I seem to not be sleeping as well. Even Mr Siili has asked if I'm sleeping well enough because I there is a darkness under my eyes. My neck and back have been aching lately too. I manage to pop/adjust my neck myself sometimes, but then it goes back to hurting quite badly a while later. I've tried switching pillows, but that doesn't seem to be helping much. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm not tossing and turning as much or as freely as I used to. Also, a nerve on the lower right side of my back (it's the sciatic nerve, but thankfully it isn't shooting down my leg, yet) has been getting more painful. I finally made a chiropractor appointment for Friday afternoon. I love my chiro and I'm excited to see him again!

Movement: At 20 weeks 1 day, I not only felt Paxlet move inside me, but I felt him on the outside too! I was laying in bed reading and was feeling some movements that were a bit more solid than the ones I'd felt before. I put my hand on my tummy in preparation for when Paxlet would move again and this time I felt it under my hand too! I'm still having the fluttery feelings, but they are definitely getting stronger. A few days later I got Mr Siili to feel my tummy as we were going to bed and he felt Paxlet for the first time. Mr Siili got a goofy grin on his face, but still wasn't quite sure if he was really sure of what he felt.

Just yesterday (20w6d), I was sitting in sauna enjoying the warmth and quietness when I felt Paxlet moving. It got me wondering that if I could feel it, would I be able to see it on the outside? So, I looked down and waited for Paxlet to move again and saw my tummy move! It was such an unexpected shock and surprise that I let out a giggle. And then again as Mr Siili and I were going to bed, I felt Paxlet moving some more and told him to look and I think he saw movement, but I can't be totally sure because he wouldn't put his glasses on. There's still time for him to feel more movements.

Cravings/Aversions: Still liking my pickles, but I still don't really consider them a craving-craving.

Gender: It's a boy!!
I called my sister and dad this weekend and told them the news that it is a boy. My sister is totally thrilled, although a bit bummed that she won't be sending me the purple-y jackets she already had on hand. I called my MIL to try and tell her, but she doesn't want to know just yet. She would like to see my bump first and guess before being officially told. I think that's sweet!

I'm trying to decide whether to tell my immediate friends and co-workers the gender or if I should just wait. I don't really have any reasons why I shouldn't tell, but I just don't know. I most likely will tell people, at some point.

Symptoms: My tummy gets tired and heavy at times. When I stand for long-ish periods of time or walk a bit, my tummy just gets achy. And I know it's only going to get worse. *grin*

I know there are other little symptoms that I noticed throughout the week, but they aren't of anything out of the ordinary or to really note, so I keep forgetting to write them down and put them here each week.

What I miss: This isn't pregnancy related, but I miss my friends. Everyone just seems to be quite busy in their own world and I miss chatting with them and possibly hanging out more. Pregnancy-wise, I'm not missing much. I'm really enjoying every little change (even when I 'complain' to Mr Siili to try and get some sympathy. LOL).

What I look forward to: I am looking forward to my neuvola appointment next week where the nurse and I will fill out the KELA (Social services in Finland) maternity forms. The most exciting form to fill out will be the maternity package one. In short, this is a package of goodies that all mothers-to-be in Finland are entitled to receive once their viable pregnancy has reached 154 days and they have been to a medical doctor before this date. I'll explain this more when I learn and understand a bit more myself.

Moods: Sometimes hormonal and teary, but mostly quite happy, if a bit tired.

Milestones: Paxlet is the size of a banana!
Feeling and seeing Paxlet move has just been incredible. The anatomy ultrasound last week still blows my mind. And the fact that I am pregnant is a milestone in itself. I'm just so grateful and happy about it.

Misc: It's been a quite week on the blog for me. I've had lots of thoughts go through my head, but none that have gotten me to get on the computer long enough to type something up. I thought about a post about my kitties, because they make me laugh and I love them so. I thought about another post telling about Finnish Easter, but Mr Siili and I didn't really do anything Easter-y for our 4 days off. Plus, I'm a bit confuzzled about the holiday (along with most all other religious holidays) and what to think about it. (I think that will be a post in the near future.) I did sew some things during the long weekend, but I haven't gotten around to taking pictures of them yet. Once I do, I'll blog about them.
Life (and my thoughts) is just normal and quite boring. Not that I want unnecessary excitement, especially not with the pregnancy, but it doesn't leave much to blog about.

This week's bump pictures will be taken and added to the Paxlet Pictures tab when Mr Siili gets home from basketball practice. (Edit - Pictures finally added the next day.)

20 weeks
19 weeks
18 weeks
17 weeks
16 weeks
15 weeks
14 weeks
13 weeks
12 weeks
11 weeks
10 weeks
9 weeks
8 weeks
7 weeks

The winner is...

Thank you to all the ladies who participated in my little Friday Fun giveaway.
The winner is...

Katri from How his knees could bend.

It's Good Friday today, which means no work for the majority of people in Finland, Mr Siili and I included. In Finnish it is Pitkäperjantai, which translates to Long Friday. Not being a religious person, I really don't know why this Friday is called what it is, or even why it would have such totally different names in different countries. Yes, I know it has to do with Jesus and church-y stuff, but after that, I've never paid much attention.

It was so nice to sleep in. I was unbelievably exhausted from work this week and it was only a 4 day work week! It's been snowing off and on again today, so this is going to be a perfect day to stay inside and not do too much. I'm thinking of doing a bit of sewing, but let's see if I can be bothered to even get up enough energy for that. Hehe

20 weeks - Halfway!

This week marks the start of 20 weeks in this pregnancy. That's half way! Holy COW!!

We had our 20-week rakenne ultraääni (anatomy check(?) ultrasound) today and it was amazing!! First off, it was supposed to be at 9am, but yesterday a nurse called to reschedule it. I was so worried I'd have to wake for it until next week sometime, as Friday and Monday are holidays. I so didn't want to wait! Thankfully they had a time for later in the day.

Today's ultrasound was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen and probably the only time I'll see that as no more ultrasounds are scheduled for this pregnancy. I think I laid on that table for at least 45 minutes and I just couldn't stop grinning during the whole ultrasound as the doctor was checking all the things that needed to be checked. Everything measured right on target, everything looked good and Paxlet is measuring one day ahead of schedule.

Whooo, is that gel cold! Paxlet was moving and cutely kicking around almost the entire time. Mr Siili says Paxlet was making bisquits, with his feet. I said he's been taking lessons from Rusty. Several times Paxlet was in the wrong position for the doctor to see something and get her measurements, so she'd wiggle my tummy with the ultrasound device-wand-thing and Paxlet would wiggle into another position. We found that quite funny. At one point, the wiggling of my tummy didn't work, so the doctor had me rotate my tummy from one side of the table to the other, it worked!

There was only one thing that was a bit...creepy: the face view of Paxlet. I mean, we could see the eyes, nose, mouth and chin, but it was in shades of grey and quite, skull-like. And then to have Paxlet opening and closing his mouth. Hahaha

During some parts of the ultrasound, my mind wandered to fellow bloggers who have not been as fortunate in their pregnancy journey. The hardest part was when the doctor got to the heart and I saw 4 beating chambers. My thoughts and my own heart went out to Marwil who lost her son way too early to a heart defect. I kept flopping between being sad for Marwil and her loss, and then being totally and utterly grateful that my little guy's heart looked just fine. I'll never know the pain and loss that she has gone through (at least as long as things continue the way they are now), but that doesn't mean I can't hurt and be sad for her loss.

The doctor held a soft voiced and continuous monolog (in Finnish) throughout the entire ultrasound. I am proud of myself for understanding most of it, but some of the words she used were quite technical and I just didn't get it. (Mr Siili said he understood it all.) Although, because of the images I was able to at least fit together what I didn't fully understand and get an idea. I was just always relieved and happy every time she said the measurements were good or something was visible and looked good.

I realize the above thoughts are kind of all over the place, but if I did a play-by-play of the appointment, it'd be an even longer post.

And now on to this week's details.

Total Weight Loss/Gain: I think I'm back down to +3,5kg. Not that it really matters, as I am eating healthy, but I've always loved to check my weight on a regular basis to just watch the little fluctuations.

Maternity Clothes: I bought my first pair of maternity pants from a 2nd hand store for 10€. OMG! I'm in love! These are so comfy. Yet, because they are black and stretchy, they are also a cat-hair magnet. I also bought a pair of regular pants (9e), brand new (they still had their store tag on them) that I'm in the process of turning into maternity pants (This is the DIY tutorial I'm following). Let's see if I can manage to finish them tonight without any tears.

Stretch marks: Not seeing any yet, but I have noticed a more prominent "happy trail" of little fuzzy hairs from belly button on down. Or maybe I'm just looking at my belly more these days. LOL

Sleep: Movement: I'm quite sure those fluttery underwater feelings I felt for the first time at 18 weeks 5 days are Paxlet!! I've been feeling these same things off and on all this last week. So far, it seems I feel them around 10:30-11:30 in the morning and at night.

Cravings/Aversions: Pickles! I've come to the conclusion that maybe I am craving pickles a bit more than normally. Although, sometimes after eating one, I feel very...salty and needs to drink a huge glass to water.


Gender: It's a boy!! Our view to determine this was from the butt view, between the legs and the fact that Paxlet's a boy showed up quite well. The doctor gave us an image to take home with us and said if it turns out to be a girl, you can always wonder what that was in the ultrasound. LOL
I'm not sure if I want to announce the gender to the general population of offline friends and co-workers. I'm quite sure I'll tell my closest friends and family. Maybe after I've had a bit of time to digest this news myself first. *big grin*

Symptoms: The usual...a bit of bloating if/when I eat too much, many trips to the bathroom, pants not fitting so well and so on. Sleeping is getting a tiny bit more uncomfortable. I think I'll make an appointment to the chiro soon-ish.

What I miss: Seriously? Nothing! Ok, well maybe the wonky hormones at times, but I am truly enjoying that is going along with this journey. I honestly have no idea if I'll get the chance to go through it again or not, so I really do want to savor and try to remember as much as I can.

What I look forward to: I don't have anything specific, really. But what isn't there to look forward to? Feeling Paxlet kicks on the outside and moving into our new place and getting Paxlet's room ready, to name a couple of things.

Moods: I've maybe been a bit more hormonal, teary and crying lately, but I think some of it takes two (meaning Mr Siili) to bring it on. Also sometimes just being tired can do it too. For the most part, I think I'm in a pretty good mood.

Milestones: Paxlet is the size of a cantaloupe! Maybe a small cantaloupe, as the doctor estimated Paxlet at 348 grams (,77 pounds) today.
I'm halfway through this pregnancy, already! I've never imagined myself at this stage in a pregnancy and I think that is quite a milestone in and of itself.

Sex?: I mentioned to Mr Siili that I'm still waiting for the crazed sex drive to start and he wondered if it won't come at all as it is so far in the pregnancy already. Anyone have experience with this supposed crazy sex drive showing up later in the pregnancy? Until then, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.


Misc: I'm thankful quarter-end stuff is done at work and now I'm looking forward to the 4 day weekend. I hope lots of the snow melts, the puddles go away and the sun shines. That isn't too much to ask for is it? I'd love to get outside in the fresh air some.

This week's bump pictures can be seen in the Paxlet Pictures tab.

19 weeks
18 weeks
17 weeks
16 weeks
15 weeks
14 weeks
13 weeks
12 weeks
11 weeks
10 weeks
9 weeks
8 weeks
7 weeks

Why my cat hates me* (aka Vet visit part 2)

*Let me start off by saying that I know my cat doesn't hate me. I'm projecting that on him because I feel bad and guilty for this weekend and yesterday's event. Cats don't think like we humans do and therefore, he doesn't hate me. Most likely he just doesn't understand why he is in pain and why I would scoop him up and take him somewhere he doesn't like.

As I wrote on Friday, I took Mansi and Rusty to the vet. Both cats got a clean bill of health, although they both had/have some plaque, which can help to contribute t o stinky breath. That evening, Rusty seemed got worse. His whimpering-meows happened more often, he was drooling and the lower left side of his chin started to swell. Late Friday evening we finally tortured him enough were able to get a good look in his mouth an see that he had a sore (it looked like a canker sore to me) just under his left fang on the lower gum of his mouth. Also the gum area was quite red and swollen. No wonder he was in pain and not happy.

I spent most of the weekend feeling guilty that my old boy was in pain. We could see it was harder for him to eat, as he was being much more careful and slow. Even when it came to his treats, which he LOVES! I could swear at one point I saw into his head the dialog he was having about taking a drink: I'm thirsty, but if I take a drink it's going to sting and I don't want it to sting because that hurts, but I am thirsty... I've been there! I know how horrible mouth sores are! My poor boy was in pain, but he was also very snuggly. He just wanted his mamma, but once he was on my lap, I couldn't shift positions (even if my legs and back were killing me) or he would whimper-meow. My heart broke even more and my gut stayed clenched all weekend.

So, Saturday night I wrote up a note to the vet (via their website form, in Finnish) and explained what was going on and that I would call Monday morning. The vet called me 5 minutes after they opened and we made an appointment to bring Rusty back in. I left work early, but a freak snow storm hit us yesterday! (Ok, it wasn't so freaky, but the amount of snow was unexpected and unwelcome.) It took me tons of extra time to get home and get Rusty. I did call the vet to say I'd be late and they were ok with it.

After being 15 minutes late, Rusty's mouth was checked and then he was sedated. I can't stand seeing my cat drop off into (or out of for that matter) sedation. I got hormonally-teary and guilty watching my guy fight the sedation. I was allowed to watch the vet clean his teeth and then we were good to go home.

What would normally take 10 minutes to get home, took us almost 30 minutes! The weather was that bad and the amount of snow that had poured and was still pouring out of the sky was crazy. I saw at least 6 double long semi-trucks stuck in the road on the trip home. I was also in stand still traffic. That almost never happens in my town. Traffic jams?! That's a joke here. (Well, unless you are in morning traffic into the area where I live. Thankfully I go the opposite way.) We got home, finally, and tried to make Rusty comfy. He wanted nothing to do with me; I don't blame him.

Soon after Mr Siili headed out to the gym, I got ready to watch American Idol from last week. No sooner had I sat down and got comfy to watch AI, Rusty walked over to me to be in my lap. He snuggled with me for an hour and a half. Still very drugged, but on my lap.

At 9:30, Mr Siili called to ask if I would come get him. I put on out door clothes, grabbed the huge snow shovel from downstairs and dug out my car. Yes, it had snowed enough in the 3,5 hours since I had been home to warrant digging out, again! Not only was Lydia surrounded and covered in snow, it was semi-frozen snow. I finally got the car out and was driving to get Mr Siili when he called to ask where I was (don't worry, I remembered to take my hand's free headset). Our ensuing conversation went something like this:

MS: Don't go on the east-west road, instead take  north-south road.

me: Which road is north-south?

MS: It's the road that runs perpendicular to the east-west road. The one that runs along the frisbee golf park. Don't drive on the that one as there is too much snow.

me: Are you near the back road?

MS: What is the back road?

me: It's the one near the Ahlman Farm.

MS: What's Ahlman farm?

Me: The cow farm near the frisbee golf park.

MS: Just don't come on the east-west road, I don't want you getting f***ing stuck in the snow.
To which I think we both let out strangled and exasperated groans. I told I was doing him a favor by coming out in this horrible weather and picking him up and he wasn't allowed to get grumpy with me and I'd call back when I got closer. I eventually found Mr Siili cold and snowy by the side of the road. We didn't talk to each other for the first few minutes of the ride and then I quickly grumped at him for a sec and then we drove most of the way home in silence.

Mr Siili hopped in the shower and I sat back down to finish watching the show that had been interupted. Rusty walked over to me and wanted in my lap again, so I picked him up and he started purring! My boy started purring at me and I started crying. Mr Siili comes into the room and worriedly asks "What's wrong?". I told him, nothing is wrong, tears can be happy you know and these are happy tears. Rusty purred at me. Mr Siili grumped that I didn't need to scare him. It wasn't like I was trying to!

And so my Rusty finally got less and less groggy. He ate more and was a bit more active. Although, he didn't join me in bed until about 10 minutes before my alarm went off this morning. But as soon as he get in bed with me he let out some very loud content purrs. My boy is definitely feeling better and I can't wait to get home and snuggle with him some more!

And as Paul Harvey would say...that's the rest of the story. (Not sure where that came from, but it did.)

Snow more fun when it snows

Sunday night the snow started coming down and it didn't stop until Monday night, late. There was quite many car accidents, but thankfully no one died and only one person was seriously injured.

 It's April and we've gotten more snow!! This is insane and unwanted, not that Mother Nature cares. LOL

The one day that I needed to take the car to work recently and it was the worst day in ages. We got enough snow yesterday to look like an entire winter's worth. Or at least half a winter's worth. And today is totally beautiful and sunny, if still a bit chilly.

Check out the pictures I took yesterday while out and about and this morning on my way to work.

My view at lunch time yesterday.

The car's not moving! You can see the red light. Or can you? It was so foggy and snowy!!

Again, not moving, as you can see the tail lights. This trip home that normally takes 10 minutes (tops), took 30 minutes. I was lucky though, as some people were stuck on buses and in their cars for an hour or even 3 hours!

I think this semi-truck rammed into the back of another semi-truck, as there was a guy in the front of this one sweeping something off the ground.

Next semi-truck. I saw about 6 of them stopped along side the road on my trip home.

And then this morning.

Nothing is plowed and there is snow everywhere!

The main roads have at least been cleared quite well. Although, buses are still running late for some. Two buses came at once to my stop.

Nothing special in this picture, except that the image is wavy because of the moving bus. It does give a decent view of the snow levels against the cleared road.