So many thoughts are running through my head and I'm not sure where to start:
a brand new
choosing wallpaper, floor tiles, kitchen counter tops, lighting, etc
there's sure to be disagreements and arguments
money, I hope DH gets a job soon
two ladies were very pregnant, one couple had their baby with them, others have kids. we have 2 cats
I ache that I'm not even a little bit pregnant
what the heck are they talking about? I understand many of the individual words in Finnish, but when they are strung together and spoken so quickly, I'm lost
panic, hold the tears in until we get into the car or even better yet, home
Now that I got that out, let me see if I can make sense of some of it.
This new home of ours is being built from scratch. The workers started on it a month or two ago and it will be ready in just under a year's time. Since we are in on this project from the beginning, we get to choose what things look like. There's wallpaper, floor tiles and kitchen counters to decide on. De we want extra plug-ins, change the lighting set-up or have a wood stove in the place? So many things to figure out and decide! And I'm not a stylish house decorating type of person. WTF do I know about this sort of stuff? My apartments and personal spaces have always been eclectic in substance and "style". This will be our place, they won't stop us from choosing the most hideous combo of colors or textures (except to charge more for some things). I want to have a grown up home. Albeit one that is lived in and not one that looks like it is straight from a fashion magazine. I'm tired feeling like a kid trying to be a grown up. (I'm not sure I'll ever succeed.)
I'm also very sure that DH and I will have many a arguments during this time. I'm quite sure they won't be over the bathroom sink, as we seem to be in agreement on that item.But I have a feeling there will be heated words over wallpaper, me not understanding Finnish, him being tired to translate and so on. I don't want this, but I know it is inevitable. *sigh*
DH seems to think we were one of the oldest couples there tonight. Although, it is quite often hard to judge how old people are. We are told we look younger than what we are (me 34, him 36). But it was obvious that several were younger than us and then others...no clue! In one couple, the guy looked young and the lady much older. Even if we are older than most, we don't have kids. That hurts. Especially seeing the baby and pregnant ladies. There's going to be many young kids when we move in. I'll be lucky if I'm ready to deliver by the time move in.
I do speak Finnish. I may not speak or understand it fluently, but I do a pretty good job with my Finnish. Even if DH doesn't give me enough credit for it, in my opinion. I think it partly has to do with the fact that we speak English together, always! But, when there are so many technical words, being spewed out at me rapid-fire like, I just don't understand it all! So, I sit there trying to listen, follow along and understand, but it's just useless at times. And when the topic is something as important as our house, I really would like to know what is going on.
And now the wind in my sails is finally dying out. I'm still scared and worried, but I'm also hopeful and excited.
The last thing that is in my mind this evening is the fact that this was the first place we looked at when we started looking for a house to buy. In fact, it was the only place (besides some online searches) we looked at! And it isn't even built yet! All I can think why can't everything be this easy? Not EVERYTHING has to be so damn freaking hard to accomplish!
