04 November 2011

You Are Beautiful!

Sometimes I struggle with feeling pretty, on the outside. And that's how I've been feeling lately. I'm not even sure I can describe what it is I feel or think when I feel this way, but, here it goes...

I know I'm not un-pretty or unattractive, but I just don't see myself as pretty or beautiful. At least not in the sense of the girl you see walking down the street that has her make-up and hair done so perfectly and you know every guy looks (twice) at her! I want to feel that way, but I rarely do. It isn't like I have any disfiguring scars, discolorations, extra body parts or even excess facial hair. I have a normal face. When I look in the mirror, I wonder what it is that my husband sees, because I sure don't see it. I see a face that is, well, just a face.

I like my eyes. They are green, most of the time. I also like my nose, with its piercing. The piercing is essential. Actually, I've often done a double take of myself in the mirror if my nose ring is out (very very rarely). I just don't recognize myself without it. I've accepted my my slightly crooked teeth. My face is not unpleasant to look at, but I don't think it is anything special either. Most days, I just don't see anything spectacular about it.

I was going to drag my body in on this, but this isn't really about my body. For the most part, I'm happy with my body. And the bits I'm not happy about, I know that if I get myself (more) motivated and step foot in the gym a few more times a week, those issues will take care of themselves.

I'm not writing this as a way to get people to tell me I'm pretty or beautiful. I'm also not fishing for compliments or praise. I'm just writing what is on my mind and how I feel at times.

And with that, I'll leave you with a couple pictures of my costume for the Halloween-party I went to last Saturday. (Halloween isn't celebrated here, at least not like in the US. It is mainly a commercial sales pitch for those who want to be like the Americans and what people have seen from TV. I can find more Halloween related stuff now than when I first moved here 12+ years ago.)