25 May 2011

It's what I expected, but it isn't all so bad

Today marks 2 weeks since my first FET and the day on which I could officially test. And test I did. It was a BFN. Not that I expected anything different. Of course I am sad, but not sad enough (yet) to cry or be too depressed. Mostly, I'm just sadly aware that another month and another cycle has gone by and I'm still not pregnant. I'm also sad that I don't feel I really have a chance of getting pregnant until sometime in the fall. The reason being is that the clinic I go to closes down for the month of July (summer holiday). And being that this is the end of May and they want me to do a natural cycle before attempting any more hormones (I think because of the Zumenon, which builds endometrium lining + me having endo), I won't be able to do anything until they get back from holiday in August. Then it also depends on when and where my cycle falls and when my turn in the IVF waiting line comes up.

Although this is a semi-sad-feeling day, I have much to be thankful for:
- I had a hair appointment (wash & trim) today. It now looks so pretty.
- I took Lydia (my car) to her yearly mandatory inspection. She passed with flying colors. The only comment was that I need to get new tires (already been planned) and to drive extra carefully when it rains before that.
- I managed to get done with Lydia's appointment earlier than expected/planned, so I was able to eat lunch (chicken soup) and make it to an important meeting at work!
- 12 hours after my last suppository and Zumenon pill, I'm feeling quite crampy, but thankfully I have pain killer! (I fear this will be a killer period and I almost never have painful periods, which is why I think my endo wasn't diagnosed earlier.)
- I was going to put going to the gym on this list, but I just don't feel like it. I think I'll go buy me some chewing gum and a new toothbrush instead.