25 May 2011

It's what I expected, but it isn't all so bad

Today marks 2 weeks since my first FET and the day on which I could officially test. And test I did. It was a BFN. Not that I expected anything different. Of course I am sad, but not sad enough (yet) to cry or be too depressed. Mostly, I'm just sadly aware that another month and another cycle has gone by and I'm still not pregnant. I'm also sad that I don't feel I really have a chance of getting pregnant until sometime in the fall. The reason being is that the clinic I go to closes down for the month of July (summer holiday). And being that this is the end of May and they want me to do a natural cycle before attempting any more hormones (I think because of the Zumenon, which builds endometrium lining + me having endo), I won't be able to do anything until they get back from holiday in August. Then it also depends on when and where my cycle falls and when my turn in the IVF waiting line comes up.

Although this is a semi-sad-feeling day, I have much to be thankful for:
- I had a hair appointment (wash & trim) today. It now looks so pretty.
- I took Lydia (my car) to her yearly mandatory inspection. She passed with flying colors. The only comment was that I need to get new tires (already been planned) and to drive extra carefully when it rains before that.
- I managed to get done with Lydia's appointment earlier than expected/planned, so I was able to eat lunch (chicken soup) and make it to an important meeting at work!
- 12 hours after my last suppository and Zumenon pill, I'm feeling quite crampy, but thankfully I have pain killer! (I fear this will be a killer period and I almost never have painful periods, which is why I think my endo wasn't diagnosed earlier.)
- I was going to put going to the gym on this list, but I just don't feel like it. I think I'll go buy me some chewing gum and a new toothbrush instead.


  1. ICLW

    I read a bit of your timeline and I would definitely encourage you to try acupuncture. Now, I did not get pregnant, however, it DID improve my lining and if this is the help that you need, then I would try it. There is actual evidence that it can improve your lining and assist implantation. Please be gentle with yourself. I'm glad you had a haircut, there's nothing better than a new hairdo!

  2. I'm sorry that this cycle didn't work out for you. It's great that you have such a positive outlook, though.

    Hoping for great things to come in the fall...

  3. Ah so sorry it was a BFN! (((HUGS))) but I like the way you tackled the day and found things to cheer you up.

    ICLW #9

  4. I'm so sorry that your cycle didn't work out. It's hard not to be sad but you have a great attitude. I won't be able to try again until fall either. I hope we both get our BFP's in fall. Love that you bought the gum and toothbrush instead of going to the gym!

  5. ICLW -

    So sorry your cycle didn't work. I'm also sorry that you have to wait until fall to try again. The waiting is just so hard. Big Hugs!!!!

  6. Thank you: awomanmyage, M, Fran, Sandy & Nikki!

  7. I'm so sorry, you sound just like me, with the sadness about being another month gone.
    I hope your baby finds you soon xxx