04 May 2011

If they only knew... (or CD9)

They, being my mom and stepmom. The two of them are quite against HRT and yet here I am taking Zu.menon, an estrogenic hormone that stimulates the growth of the lining of the uterus (called the endometrium). I know I am not using this as a HRT drug, but rather to enhance the hormones (or lack of?) I do have to make a nice and cozy home for a future embryo. At least I hope that is what is happening. I also know that I am not taking this on a long term basis, but it still makes me wonder what "they" would think in any case.

I have a clinic appointment this Friday to see how the Zu.menon is working and what's going on with my body. This will be my first FET (frozen embryo transfer), ever! It will also be the first time I've been back to the clinic since the failed IVF attempt #2 in March.

Sorry in advance if the text below is a bit muddled and confusing, that's just the way my thoughts are on this topic at the moment.
I am excited to be able to try again to get pregnant, but at the same time I am a bit concerned about the amount of stress I am feeling right now. Since last night's little "sadness" attack came about, I've still been feeling off and teary today. Then mid-day today, to make matters much worse, the union I belong to announced that there will be a strike starting tomorrow morning at 6am (and lasting until Saturday at 6am) at my work if there is no agreement made or another time set for a new resolution session. (We've been without a working contract since the end of March.) No agreement was reached regarding pay and the pay arrangement, nor was a new date set for the next session, so the members of the union at my work are going on strike. This is an illegal strike as it was only announced today and not 2 weeks ago (by law). I'm still irked by the strike we had last month for 2 weeks and the upcoming strike next week (legal) for 2 weeks. (Two other companies are on strike this last week and this week.) I've already lost 2 week's pay and 2.5 holiday days for April! And now the union is asking me to not work for these 3 days and then go on strike again for two more weeks?! I'm upset and stressed!! For the first strike I figured that I am a member of the union and I did what I felt was right and went on strike like a union member should. I mean, why join the union if you aren't going to support them like they support you, right? (Right?) But this is just ridiculous! I'm not really sure our strike actions the first time around really sent a strong message. There were enough people who didn't go on strike and were working during those 2 weeks, that the work got done. While those workers didn't do my job perfectly (like I do. hehe), they were doing it well enough that the major part of it was done.I feel that this is only hurting myself and the other strikers. Our bosses can't be looking favorably upon us, even if they can't do anything to us because of our actions to follow the strike. I still feel like crap and stressed beyond belief! Again!!

Although, since I made the decision later in the day today to leave the union and not go on strike tomorrow or next week, my stress level has gone down some. I only hope it is enough for my body to be a happy calm place for a FET.
Trying to think happy thoughts.