20 July 2011

Skype with my sister

It's 1:15am and I really should be in bed. But I just got done with a Skype call to my sister. My poor sister was in tears from the get go. She's hurting. Badly. Not only did our mom die a month ago, but her best friend was murdered a couple of months before that. She's having a really hard time with life right now. She's questioning life itself and what's the point of it? And the only thing I can tell her is that I've been there too. I know! We all just have to figure out what life means for us. I also know that in the mind frame she was in, those words weren't much help.

I feel so bad and guilty for being half a world away. I feel like I am getting off easy. I'm not there in our mom's (former) place every day, going through her shit and trying to figure out what to get rid of and what to keep. I so desperately would love to be there with her right now. But I can't and it just plain sucks. I miss my sister. I miss my mom. I miss my entire family.