11 August 2011

Acupuncture update

I've been thinking on this post for some time now, but I've just been having a difficult time getting myself to actually sit down and write it. I think I'm still on holiday mode. *big grin* At least for a few more days...

After my first session 3 weeks ago, I have gone another 2 times, each on Tuesday. I think acupuncture is doing something to my body. I don't see any 180 degree changes, but I can see some differences in myself. For example:
-My lower back doesn't seem to hurt as much. I haven't been going to the gym, so that is not a reason to make it feel better.

-I think I'm warmer overall. Sure, the weather has been quite nice during the first 2 weeks of my holiday and with the warm weather we were having, something definitely would have had to be wrong with me to be cold then. But this last week the temperatures have chilled a bit and I'm still not 'cold'. My hands and feet have been a bit chilled in the evening as Mr Siili and I sit and watch some TV programs, but I think that is to be expected. I just don't feel freezing. I think the true test will be when it gets much cooler and even cold.

-My ankle is feeling better. Not cured, but also not as painful. After the first session where one of the needles definitely triggered pain which continued for the week. I talked to MRJ (acupuncture guy) and told him about the discomfort and also about my tearing the ligament in my ankle several years ago (I had forgot about it during the first meeting). He placed a needle or two for the ankle during the 2nd and 3rd session and it has helped! Especially after the 2nd session, my ankle didn't hurt AT ALL the rest of that day and only slowly became a bit annoying during the week. So far this week it hasn't been too bothersome either.

As for how acupuncture might be effecting my endometriosis, I don't know yet. Since I am one of the "lucky" ladies that doesn't have any sort of symptoms, I don't know what is going on inside of me. And since I am not currently doing any medical treatments, I'm not getting any u/s done to see my innards. I guess we'll see what happens in another week and a half if/when AF shows.

During the 3rd treatment this week, MRJ tried something new on me: EFT. Or, Emotional Freedom Techniques. I found a decent description of what EFT is on Mercola.com.
EFT is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments for over five thousand years, but without the invasiveness of needles. Instead, simple tapping with the fingertips is used to input kinetic energy onto specific meridians on the head and chest while you think about your specific problem - whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, etc. -- and voice positive affirmations.
MRJ has just started learning this, and took a course on it over the weekend, so he asked if I would like to try it. Maybe I have/had some mental stress or other negative aspect in my life that was blocking me emotional from getting pregnant. But when MRJ asked me to think of negative things in my past, I really couldn't think of much. The main things that came to mind was financial stresses because of the house we've signed for (and Mr Siili not having a job yet/still), my mom's death, my parents' divorce many years ago (but they've always remained civil and even good friends in the end) and one ex boyfriend. I honestly think I've had a pretty good life. No major traumas, in my opinion. In the end, MRJ decided to focus on the ex.

This ex mentally abused me, in my opinion. I don't know if he meant to do it, but I think he was fucked up enough himself that he knew nothing else. But in any case, I seriously thought of slitting my throats that Halloween we were together. It was a very dark time in my life, yet no one knew how badly I was hurting. This guy also slept with my then best friend on my bedroom floor was I was sleeping in the bed. (Yes, I've always been a deep sleeper.) So, even though I've tried to forget it over the years, I still had anger, hatred and unpleasant thoughts when I thought of him.

So, MRJ did 2 rounds of EFT regarding my ex. He also did one round focusing on my infertility. He would say some words (in Finnish, of course) and I was to repeat them. As he said the words and I repeated them, he would tap on parts of my body. I think I did quite well repeating the words the first 2 times. But as soon as he started using a specific term for 'childlessness', which I this was hedelmättömys. I just couldn't get my mind and mouth around the word, much less repeat it. LOL. So he chose a different word with the same basic meaning: lapsettomuus. But you trying saying this word over and over while you are being tapped on the top of your head, near your eyes, upper lip, etc and still be able to say it correctly and without laughing. For some reason, after a while, this word didn't want to come out correctly. You know how sometimes when you say a word over and over and it just starts sounding funny? This word sounded funny.

I have no idea if this EFT worked or not. But when I think of this ex, I don't seem to get the same feeling as I used to. But I also don't seem to be actually 'thinking' of him, but rather just glancing over the idea and images of him in my thoughts. Almost like its too slippery of a subject for me to get a grasp on anymore.

So, that's my 3 appointments so far. My next appointment with MRJ won't be for another month when I get back from Shanghai. I did mention to MRJ that I was thinking of checking out acupuncture while in Shanghai, if it isn't too expensive (at least much less then 45€). I mean, after all, it is China! He sounded quite open to that and said he'd love to go there someday and try it himself. MRJ also did say to make sure they diagnose me before doing a session.

In a way, I hope this acupuncture will work on me and I will get pregnant this cycle, not only for the pregnancy side of it but, it would feel to me that Mr Siili would have to believe that not so traditional methods might actually work too. If this all natural cycle doesn't work, the next cycle would be a miracle indeed as I'll be in China during O and the one after that will be monitored by my clinic for FET. Not to say that I wouldn't be thrilled to get pregnant then also, but at that point I wouldn't know what treatment did the trick. Not that I'd really care how it happened, right?