Green eyed monster

Seeing baby pictures on Facebook of all my friends' kids is two sided. I love seeing their pictures of happy babys and kids. It truly makes me happy and puts a smile on my face. But it also makes me even more aware of my biological clock that is ticking quite loudly. I also ache (physically?) so deeply because I still don't have one of my own.

2011 Letters

In my aimless wandering of the net today, I ran across a homeschooling family that is trying to collect 2011 letters this year. I love the idea and will send them a letter myself. Here's a link if you'd like to check it out and send one yourself:

Sewing machine

I finally pulled out my brand new sewing machine today! I made myself a book bag. I love taking my books with me when I'm in the bus or waiting at the doctor's/dentist's office, but I hate my books getting bent out of shape in my bags. So, here's a book bag! Please excuse the camera-phone coloring.


It isn't a new or novel idea, as I've re-purposed many-a-bags of this shape & type for book bags. This one just happens to be the first one handmade by me! Yes, I'm (re)reading Jean M. Auel's The Shelters of Stone in preparation for the 6th and final book of the series coming on March 29th. Although, I most likely won't be getting the book anytime soon here in Finland. The bookmark is my own doing, also.

Winter holiday

My winter holiday week off from work is almost over and what a wintry week it has been. It has snowed a significant amount at least three days this week with much dark grey cloud cover and it has been quite windy. A bit more sun than  we've seen lately would be nice.
I never feel as if I've done anything during my holidays when I'm just at home. I know lots of people say that is the point of a holiday, but I'd like to feel as if I did something. I know I have accomplished a few things this week:
-starting up at the gym again (BodyBalance, BodyCombat, new workout program w/the personal trainer, Balletone & ...),
-visited a friend in another town with 2 other friends,
-worked on our financial stuff some (although I really need to do more),
-gone to the dentist to have a filling replaced,
-hungry out with kitties & hubby,
-done a little arts & crafts (but want to do more),
-and I'll go meet another friend today.
So this hasn't been a total slacking week, but I also haven't done some of the things I really should do (get organized & stuff ready for the fleamarket). Can't do everything, right?
I had a point I wanted to get across in this post, but I've completely forgotten what it was while I've slowly typed this up on my phone. Ah well, it couldn't have been too important.
Edit: As soon as I published this I remembered my point!  Being that this is my holiday week, why do I keep waking up between 7-8 each morning without an alarm?! Especially when I'm going to bed after 1am.

Friends & something new learned

Two friends & I drove to visit another friend this afternoon. It was great to see them all at the same time as it's rare for us to be able to get together. It's amazing how fast time flies when there is so much to catch up on.
Before meeting with the two today, I was wandering around the mall downtown for a bit. I went into a book store and saw Jean M. Auel's Earth Children series (The Clan of the Cave Bear, etc). Only her last name was written Untinen-Auel. I hadn't seen that before, so I whipped out my phone to google it. Turns out she was born to Finnish parents. I also learned that the 6th & final book in the series is supposed to come out on March 29, 2011. I guess that means I should read the 5th book first. I bought it years ago but I just never got around to reading it.
I was around 14 when I first read The Clan of the Cave Bear. I remember how I loved and devoured the books back then. My dad didn't want me reading them because of their adult content, but my mom didn't care. So I read them.
I remember being close to finishing the first book and staying up late to do so. As I finished the book my mom came up stairs to find me bawling my eyes out over the book. She comforted me and said soothing words, but that has always stuck with me.
Now that the final book is coming out, I wonder, should I .read the whole series again or just pick up where I left off?

Sometimes I hate being right

Well, as I suspected, AF showed her face today. I'm sad, disappointed, devastated and ok in turns. I'll call the clinic in the morning to let them know what's up and see if I can plow on ahead this cycle and not have to wait one out. On the up side, at least I don't have to use the suppositories anymore.

I may be sad, but I am strong and I will persevere. I just need some time. 

In a more positive vein (I feel that I'm quite negative on here and I'm not really that way in life), I got a sewing machine 2 weekends ago. I haven't used it yet, but I think I will this week sometime. I want to make myself (another) phone cozy, book bag and who knows what else.

This last weekend hubby gave me a laptop! It's not a new laptop, but it is new to me. I installed Ubuntu on it, because the Windows OS it had on it was infected with a nasty mean virus. Out, damn virus, out! Now, I just need to finish setting it up and get it more me-like. haha

Today was my first official day of holiday for the week. I lazed around and felt sad for myself in the morning. I played on the computer a bit, did some finance stuff and then headed off to the gym. I ran for 1,5 km and then went to BodyBalance. Tomorrow I am going to BodyCombat! My favorite gym class, ever!
Let's see what else I can manage to do this week!

I just don't believe

Tomorrow is 2 weeks since harvesting for round 2 of IVF. I know I haven't updated much this time around, but there really hasn't been too much different from the first time. I wasn't as weepy or crying, but I was still hormonal and emotional. My ovaries produced 11, all mature, follicles. And they produced lots of liquid with them, so my ovary area was very quite sensitive and sore for some time. Harvesting was a bit more painful this time, thankfully I was given some extra local anesthesia. On transfer day, I was told that one excellent embryo was being transferred to me, 1 excellent and 2 good embryos frozen.

I've been a good girl and done the progesterone suppositories 3 times a day like instructed, except for 2 days when I only used 2. My mind is constantly thinking about the possibility of my being pregnant and when I can test. Last time I started spotting on the Monday and AF was fully here by Tuesday. No testing necessary. This time, I'm thinking I'll at least wait until Tuesday morning and possibly even Wednesday morning before testing. That is if AF stays away. I have to honestly say though, that I don't really have high hopes of being pregnant. I'm not just being negative and down trodden, but really, I just don't feel that I'm pregnant. And for the negative Nancy part: I just don't feel like I will get pregnant either. I know so many others have had it harder than me, have tried so much longer than me, but I really don't care about them right now. This is me and my life (and hubby's life). I'm so sick of this waiting and torture each month! Yet, I don't know if I dare to stop trying...

Why I shouldn't clean

I did the dishes, all was fine. I scooped the litter box, all was fine. I thought about vacuuming, but decided to do it later. Cut up a mango and took it to the bedroom as a snack while I read for a bit. Rusty pukes, on the kitchen rug, so I get to clean it up. (Poor kitty.) Once that mess is cleaned, I figured I might as well vacuum some now. All rooms except the living room satisfactorily clean, I head there with the intention to only vacuum the most used area: the computer area. I ask hubby if he could move himself and the chair. I get in front of the comp table, under it and when I got to the power cords, I accidentally hit the kill switch. :-( I've done it once before and had that in mind this time around...but it still happened. Hubby is quite upset with me now.  It's not like I tried to do it.

Then he decided I was going to get under the couch and he proceeded to move it and everything around it. As I toss toys out of the way (after sucking up one ribbon), Mansi is curiously watching what is going on.  I tossed another  toy in her direction and it smacked her full on.  Hubby got even more upset and said I shouldn't throw stuff at the cat. I wasn't trying to hit the cat! All toys were being tossed in that general direction.

And that is why I shouldn't clean...