Yes, my period is on my shit list right now.
It is several days late and that just almost never happens! According to my calculations and the program(s) on my phone, I should have started my period on Sunday (cd28) or Monday (cd29) of this week. It is now day 32 and it is no where to be found. I did finally break down and test today, but it was a huge BFN (Big Fat Negative). Even though I didn't think this cycle would be fruitful, it is still hard to see that test come up negative.
As I said, I didn't really have high hopes of getting pregnant this cycle (but we sure did have fun trying). I just don't believe that I can get pregnant without help from the doctors and hormones. (Not that those seem to be helping much either.) I'm not being negative about it, nor being factual, but rather how I truthfully feel. I just don't think it will happen on its own. Which, is part of the reason this whole secondary infertility is the pits! The one and only time I did get pregnant, it was way too easy and I was so not ready for it then. Because of that, I always assumed that when I felt I was ready for a kid, it'd happen just like that *finger snap* Alas, that is not the way of my body.
Where did this post title and subsequent rant come from? Well, as I was driving home from the gym this evening, I popped in the Natural Born Killers soundtrack and out came this song. It just seemed to fit my mood and thoughts, on more than one level. I love the high energy of the song, the movie itself and they lyrics grabbed me (as always) too! So, here you go, my thoughts for today.
Oh and happy easter! My 4 day weekend started today!
L7 - Shitlist
When I get mad and I get pissed
I grab my pen and I write out a list
Of all the people that won't be missed
You've made my shitlist
For all the ones who put me out (shitlist)
For all the ones who filled my head with doubt (shitlist)
For all the squares who get me pissed (shitlist)
You've made my shitlist
Shitlist x2
When I get mad and I get pissed
I grab my pen and I write out a list
Of all you assholes that won't be missed
You've made my shitlist
Shitlist x4
